As my return blog post after almost three months. I will now blog about something that had happened last May. I only waited for the right time to write about this because this is the only time I could write about this topic.

With this topic, I now return to my weekly blogging spree, with new issues coming out weekly.

I retained the lead that I wrote last May,

Saturday, 14th of May, 2011

It was the most uneventful,. but the most unusual day for me. That day before, UP Professor Chit Estella Simbulan died of a car accident by a Bus Driver on Commonwealth Avenue, the Killer Highway (During the course of this day, 14th May, Maico Buncio was having his last race of his life. He died at a young age of 22)

I was at the SM Megamall that Saturday, armed with things I knew I needed. The TV5 Press kit from last year’s trade launch, the News5 Omnibus ad, the latest copy of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, and a bottle of Pepsi, hoping that I could give the drink to him.

I waited, the first meeting time was pegged at 1700h, then at 1630, it was changed to 1800. But the place was still the same, in the area near Jollibee at the SM Foodcourt.

I casually read the papers and wrote something in my personal diary, the one thing I hold on to and wrote on all the problems and all the hate that I harbored during the past three years. I wrote something that a talk will happen, and yeah, I was goddamned nervous.

Then the time came, it was nerve wracking that the minutes that they never came seemed like an eternity. I thought that they would just kill the talk and leave me there again alone in the mall.

And then, after three years… They did came.

I gave him a letter I wrote to him the day before, and they asked me if I wanted to start first.

I held my breath, the nervousness catching in my whole body. And I let it all out, all the feelings, all the thoughts, all the hatred, all that I want to say for the past three years, I have said it all, vulgar, coarse, profane, everything. If this is called removing a huge load on your back, I may have removed two, no… five tons of emotional baggage to him.

He seemed to understand everything I said, as he preferred to listen first to all what I had harbored, I wanted to cry, I wanted to get angry, but all I had experienced was the sheer frustration I had for the past three years. Three long years, and still the memories still open fresh like any open wound.

I went on for barely almost an hour all by myself, speaking mostly in English than in Tagalog. Then, when I ended my “opening statement”… They replied to me.

Some of the replies they said to me are a bit personal and I chose not to explain it further, but a deal was made soon after, and a part of that deal is to clear up everything via this blog post and to apologize to all the people I had dragged into this goddamn mess.

Now, I clear the air up, and apologize to everyone who was dragged into this mess. You know who you all are, again, If I dragged you all in this mess for the past three years

I also apologize for everyone who was involved, directly and indirectly, For the emotional pain and suffering I had harbored for the past three years was the reason I had to write, I had to protect myself, and my ego. I never wanted to lost a fight, but if this was a perfect time to lose, this could be it.

And these last few sentences is for the person who was the reason of all this. You have already have read my letter, and you may have heard this last May, but I will reiterate this again, I am here whenever you need me, I had let you go on and be happy for you, We may be civil, but I want us to have a real talking relationship on FB , Twitter, Plurk, Tumblr, on Text, and eventually on voice.

I am here whenever you need me, but the change is that I won’t meddle in your life anymore, True we might not be able to be friends again, I hope our relationship and this “disagreement” should galvanize me, and you, towards a relationship that will be bound by the tests of time.

I’m still here dude, and I will offer you again that Pepsi Max if you want to.

And that’s the way it is,

Headin’ Out!